Written by Jeanne Frantik
Christ is the living bread and water and died for us on the cross through a torturous crucifixion. How can we come even close to comparing to that? How do we pour ourselves out like he did in our everyday, relatively comfortable lives?
No one is condemning us for our religion, at least not to the point of death. People – probably family members – may question our beliefs, and it may be annoying and hurtful, but nowhere near what Christ and his apostles went through two thousand years ago.
First and foremost, I have learned to be open and to trust. Try opening your arm and breathing in the spirit. It is amazing what can transpire as you open yourself, and are willing to receive the spirit. As you are opened, and you breathe in and out, you naturally release something… whether it is tension, control, and hopefully - open a crack to trust.
In 2019, I was training for the Chicago marathon, I was dealing with planter facetious, and if you don’t know what that is, it felt like my foot was the size of a football and was going to bust out of my shoe. It is incredibly painful, especially when I had already ran 8 miles that day and still had 5 miles to get home.
I ‘felt’ God was with me on this marathon journey, but this was they day I invited him into every step of my training and my life. I stopped dead in my tracks. I ripped my headphones out of my ears and said, ‘Lord, if you want me to run this marathon, it is all up to you from this point on. I can’t do it myself.’ With the next step I started reciting the rosary. And from that day on, every workout, every run and every bike ride, I am praying. On that day, I took what I wanted to do in life, and gave it to the Lord to complete through me. Oh, what that was preparing me for?
As I prepared spiritually for the marathon, I asked people for their prayer requests. The plan was for me to write the names of those intentions on my arms so I could pray for a different person every mile of the marathon.
The weekend before the marathon, I was part of the team giving the ‘Light of the World’ retreat. We were strongly encouraged to go to confession before the retreat. Until this day, I wasn’t a frequent ‘confessor’. On my way out the door, the priest gently said to me, ‘I must tell you, I am being told that you need to TRUST’. Well, that was odd… and I moved into retreat mode.
That Monday, I was training. Running my normal route after being on retreat all weekend, and I kept hearing a swooshing sound, like someone was behind me. I turned three times to make sure no one was coming up behind me – at that point I said aloud with a smile, ‘Lord, I know its you, let’s finish strong’. The Lord was there for more than a training run.
That afternoon, I got a phone call from my husband that my son was ‘missing’. That moment, I felt myself start to sink into the sea like Peter, and then I hear Fr. Andy’s voice ‘you need to TRUST’ and I could physically feel myself pop back to the surface of the water.
My son, Matthew, hadn’t shown up for work. We lived in Illinois and he lived in Florida. His coworkers went to his apartment. His car was there but he wasn’t answering his door. Matthew has type one diabetes, and these circumstances were concerning.
Across the country we waited, and I gave it all up to God. I pour myself out to Him and like Abraham, said out loud, “Lord, if this is your plan, here is my son”. At that moment, the phone rang. The paramedics were in and although he was in rough shape, he was alive.
Typically, when we have a diabetes ‘situation’, once he gets fluids, he perks right up. He did not perk up. In the morning, he was still very out of sorts, not able to read or do simple math problems. Based on social media and communication with others, we think he was down for three days.
We asked the doctor what long term effects we can expect from this ‘situation?’. The doc said ‘I don’t know, we don’t have anyone to compare this to’. Seeing what we had never seen in him before, we were mentally preparing for him to have to move back home and be cared for indefinitely.
So now that he’s alive, I began praying for a complete healing. ‘Ask and you shall receive’… I’m asking and I’m asking BIG! On Sunday, I ran the Chicago marathon… 26.2 miles of Hail Mary’s. No lie. It is said that when you run a marathon, you train not so that you don’t have pain, but so you can withstand the pain. Guess what… I had no pain. I had my arm covered with prayer intentions for others, but most of all I was asking for complete healing of my son. Go big or go home. I ran the Chicago Marathon as if I was traveling across clouds. I’m not saying it wasn’t hard, but it wasn’t painful.
Matthew and my husband watched me cross the finish line on TV in Florida and they sent me a picture of a rainbow outside the window. And we got our complete healing.
“Ask and you shall receive”, “Trust in the Lord with all your strength”, “Be not afraid”. I could go on.
What happens when you stop grasping onto the outside world? Open your hand up right now, palm side up. You aren’t grasping onto anything, right? And nothing is coming between you and your God.
Although pouring yourself out is difficult in the begin, and it is a continual process of growth, you will receive freedom. It is acting from the inside out. It is pouring the love the Lord has given you upon others, and the freedom of knowing you are the beloved child of God, and with him you will never be alone.
The Lord doesn’t promise a path of least resistance, but he does ask “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matt 11:28-30
Resources: How to grow in ‘pouring out’. I recommend you begin reciting daily the Litany of Trust and then add the Litany of Humility. You can google them and they will blow your mind.