Read: John 11:1-44

And Jesus wept.  As I sit with this scripture today, I am overwhelmed by the dichotomy of it all: Jesus loved Lazarus, yet stayed away upon hearing of Lazarus’ illness so that His disciples might believe.  Jesus reiterating eternal salvation and the promise of resurrection; yet, upon going to see where Lazarus was laid, he “wept”.  I struggle… Jesus loved Lazarus.  As a child growing up with this scripture, I often felt if you were loved enough by God, your prayers would be answered.  How often I have prayed that a life of someone I loved be spared.  Knowing beyond all knowledge –BELIEVING God could save that life, if he would just so choose.   More often than not, I have come away from the cave in grief, having witnessed no emergence.  Why Lazarus, why not the person of my prayer.  Why?  I look to the words repeated twice, once by Martha and again by Mary: “If you had been here, my brother would not have died.”  What utter faith, not recrimination.  Pure acceptance of God’s will within their grief.  Jesus’ teaching of eternal salvation is our comfort, but I struggle…. Lazarus walked out of that cave.  Selfishly, I want that physical re-emergence.  Today I pray for God’s help to look beyond the physical pain and to the eternal glory.

Shelley Tegels, Director of Our Lady’s Little Learners Preschool