Reflection authored by: Fr James Downey, Associate Pastor OLIH and St Luke’s
“hope is the mystery of the cross” – You are Amazing, page 64 (out of context, but poignant)
Suffering has been part of the human experience ever since the Fall of man, but the idea that one can “suffer well,” as this chapter suggests, is a bit strange to the modern mind. Wellness and suffering are normally considered irreconcilable opposites: if you’re suffering, you’re not well and if you’re well, you aren’t suffering; insofar as you are one, you are not the other. So, to try and stuff these two together and say that you can suffer well can seem a bit not sensical, but only if you’re a stone-hearted materialist that believes there is nothing more to the human being than meat and bones and brain matter. Both suffering and wellness can go much deeper than what Advil, Tylenol, or Tums can reach, just as much as there is much more to the human being than just the dust-to-dust parts. Think of it: every valve and ventricle might be functioning perfectly while someone suffers from a broken heart. We suffer when something isn’t there that apparently should be. In the beautiful, mixed-up mess of physiological, psychological, and spiritual aspects that make of the human being (ref. 1 Thessalonians 5:23), this suffering could be when there’s a lack of proper functioning on the cellular level, there’s a lack of loved one at a family table, or there is a lack of God’s tangible Presence or grace. Suffering could be principally on any one of these levels or you could get hit on every level at once, but what does it mean “to suffer well”?
One thing “suffering well” does NOT mean is finding joy in suffering for suffering’s sake. That is what we call masochism (when it is our suffering) or sadism (when is someone else’s) and that is a twisted suffering and lack of proper wellness on many levels. Suffering, whether is be on the natural or moral level, is a type of evil and it is not a good thing in itself. And yet, the possibility to “suffer well” means that, somehow someway, goodness can be found in the midst of suffering and to not find that goodness in its midst would be to “suffer poorly.” If the goodness doesn’t come from the suffering, where does this goodness come from? One possible source is us: in the sense that we can “make the most of a bad situation” or “make lemonade out of lemons” or “always look on the bright side of life.” There’s much to be said for this and a lot of wellness to be had from a not-naïve optimism combined with some tenacity and industriousness, but clearly there are limits to human endurance and situations where even our best efforts fall woefully short of the challenges we can face. Our strength is not enough to suffer well. There is only one source so wise and full of goodness to be able to work out some goodness, even a greater goodness, from the midst every type and degree of human suffering. Lucky for us, that source of goodness did not hesitate to throw Himself right into the thick of our sufferings, share in them, and take them upon Himself.
I prefaced this reflection with “hope is the mystery of the cross,” because in Christ’s crucifixion, all human suffering finds the possibility for redemption. Christ’s suffering and death, although evil, were not pointless, meaningless, or ineffective. Rather, by His Passion, not only is man redeemed, but human suffering as well, because His suffering for another made even suffering open as a means to salvation. That does not mean that we can save ourselves through suffering; it means that our suffering can be joined to Christ’s saving suffering. In joining ourselves to Christ, our crosses to the cross of Christ, we are also joined to what is far beyond us: Christ’s resurrection and new life. So, “suffering well” means suffering with Christ. In the long run, through Him, hope and goodness can be found in the midst of that shared suffering, hope for shared resurrections and eternal life. In the meanwhile, hope and goodness can be found in the midst of our suffering, because we know we are not alone or abandoned in it; our God and our Savior is right next to us in the thick of it. If you ever need a reminder of this, look to a crucifix.