Patty Mayer, Our Lady’s Director of Adult Faith Formation, writes:
As I read this book, I started to question how virtuous I am. I could easily create a list of examples showing my failures, yet I didn’t feel condemned by my imperfection. Instead I found this knowledge intriguing and wanted to know more. In the end, I thoroughly enjoyed exploring the virtues and being challenged to grow in virtue. How about you?
This first part of the book has given us much to think about between values vs virtues, being aware of our desires (and wanting to do the right thing), the four characteristics (consistency, ease, promptitude, and joy), the three keys (education, effort, and grace), and realizing that each virtue is connected (hinged) to others. At first glance, this may seem overwhelming to take in, but is it?
Let’s do a quick review:
Values vs Virtues. What I value is what is important to me. I value people, my faith, and relationships. How I act towards what I value comes from my virtue. Am I on time? Do I respect others? How do I treat people when I meet them? I’m not perfect and I fail, often, but I must also do some things well because people do rely on and trust me. What do you value and how do you demonstrate its value?
Being aware of our desires. I think that there are times “fake it till you make it” is the way to go, but how and when does that interior desire change? It’s easy to desire things that aren’t good for us – chocolate, chips, soda, binge watching – versus eating a healthy salad, true portion sizes, or going for a walk. In my experience when I’m desiring to be more heathy, and am being intentional I do desire healthy options because it’s good for me and I will feel better both now and later.
I have the honor of having conversations with people about prayer, devotions, and attending Mass. These are all great practices, but it’s amazing to witness someone who goes from “going through the motions,” or struggling regularly, to someone who obviously desires those moments. When our internal desires shift we are drawn towards what it good for us, what God calls us to. What desires keep you from growing in virtue? What desires align with what God is calling you to?
Consistency, ease, promptitude, and joy. The first three words are about creating good habits through intentionally choosing the right thing, and over time doing it without much thought. I’m listening to the Catechism in a Year with Fr Mike Schmitz. Since January 1 I’ve been consistently working on finding the when and how to make it happen. At the moment I’m 3 days behind because I’m struggling to build this new habit. But, there are four characteristics, not three. It’s about more than building a habit, it’s about being joyful within it.
Luckily, for me, listening to Fr Mike talk about the Catechism is something that I do find joy in, but that’s not true in all habits until our desire changes. What are the things you are doing to build good habits? How does the ‘habit’ change when you enter into it with joy instead of obligation?
Education, effort, grace. Education is important. Years ago, I worked with troubled teenagers. More than once I had a young man ask me ‘why doesn’t the school teach us the skills you do?’ The rationale behind the question: ‘because if they did maybe I would have never ended up in here.’ That question always hurt my heart because it is the important life lessons that aren’t always taught. Where did you learn about virtues? Did anyone teach you these “skills” growing up or were you on your own?
“Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you. ”
First, we learn and then comes both our effort and God’s grace. We need to build up our virtuous muscles, and rely on God. I think of how in 2016 I started to run (not sure you could call it running when I started), my first day was 28 minutes of alternating between several minutes of walking and 1 minute of running. At the end of my first “run” I ran a total of 8 minutes and with each minute I thought I wouldn’t make it. I spent 3 days a week “running.” Eight weeks later, I ran for 28 minutes straight, eventually I was able to run a 5k, and shortly thereafter, I was ready for a 6k.
The same is true for our spiritual “muscles” we need to work them and train them to strengthen them. No matter how far we go on our own, we need God’s grace. I think of how when I went through my divorce my daily prayer was “God help me to forgive and to get through this with my integrity intact.” I know that it was God’s grace that got me through – I could only do so much, and God carried me through the rest. How do you see you and God working together in your life to build virtue?
Part two of the book is a journey through the four cardinal virtues. With each Cardinal virtue, we will be introduced to others that help to build up and support our life of virtue. I think the important thing, as we continue forward, is be open to what you can learn and how you may apply this knowledge to your life.
Each week on Monday we will highlight the FORMED video with Dr Sri summarizing the virtue of the week. On Wednesday and Friday the blog will feature people from our parish who will share about that virtue and how they live, or attempt to live, it in their daily life.
I hope and pray that this journey is fruitful for you as you explore the virtues and how you may be called to grow in virtue as a result!
Reading plan:
Monday, January 9 – Wednesday January 18 – Part One: Virtue and Friendship
Friday, January 20 – Part Two: The Four Cardinal Virtues
Monday, January 23-Friday, January 27 – Prudence
Monday, January 30 – Friday, February 3 – Fortitude
Monday, February 6 – Friday, February 10 – Temperance
Monday, February 13 – Friday, February 17 - Justice