Chapter 16: No Visitors
"A thirty-year-old woman is more comfortable saying no when a man asks her out on a date. Her twenty-two-year-old self might have said yes. But she knows herself better now. And she knows that a hot bath, a good book, and a nice glass of wine are better than some dates. She has learned to be comfortable in her own company. It is an invaluable lesson." (page 85)
I was 39 years old when my husband and I got married so this quote from today's chapter speaks to me. Growing up many children dream of getting married and having children, but what happens when you grow up and don't get married? Or when you get married older in life and don't have children? What about losing a spouse due to death or divorce? Life doesn't work the way the movies make it look - how do we live with ourselves?
In my late twenties a good friend asked what I was looking for in a partner and after I answered he asked me if I would settle for less and I said no. At that point in my life I knew what I wanted in a relationship and that I didn't need a relationship to feel fulfilled in my life. I knew that when the time was right God would send me the right person. The hard part of that conversation was knowing I was losing a good friend, the good thing was that I knew with all my heart that I was okay being on my own! I was good with who I was and whose I was!
What about you? Are you happy with who you are?
I found this poem etched in a mirror tile and it has been displayed in my office for years and years - it keeps me grounded:
The Face in the Glass
When you get what you want in your struggle for self / and the world makes you king for a day, / Just go the mirror and look at yourself / And see what the face has to say.
For it isn’t your father or mother or spouse / Whose judgment upon you must pass. / The person whose verdict counts most in your life / Is the one staring back from the glass.
Some people might think your a straight-shooting chum / And call you a great gal or guy. / But the face in the glass says you’re only a bum / If you can’t look it straight in the eye.
That’s the one you much please – never mind all the rest, / That’s the one with you clear to the end. / And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test / If the face in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of year / And get pats on the back as you pass. / But your final reward will be heartache and tears / If you’ve cheated the face in the glass.